
Traditional Family Vampires
2000-06-20 · 15 min · ★ 10.0
An over-the-top comedy about a right wing / conservative family of vampires that go door to door sucking blood, until they meet up with a particularly unsavory character. They morally object to one victim's sexual orientation, thereby not finishing the job.... and we all know what happens if you don't drain 'em dry!
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Production details
- Directors
- Bobby R. Poirier
- Production companies
- Unavailable
- Countries
- United States of America
- Status
- Released
Top Cast
Cole TuckerHimself
Bobby R. PoirierBar PatronTitle information and images are supplied by TMDb. Explore our discovery guide for advice on comparing metadata and legal viewing options.
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Seasons & episodes
Recommendations

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

Shortly after high school student Jeremy Capello goes on a hot date, he finds he can't stand garlic or see his reflection in mirrors.

Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.

When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.

A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.

Charley Brewster, a high school student, accidentally discovers the true and creepy nature of Jerry Dandrige, his dashing and enigmatic new neighbor; but no one seems willing to believe him.

When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.

In 1830, the Karnstein heirs use the blood of an innocent to bring forth the evil that is the beautiful Mircalla - or as she was in 1710, Carmilla. The nearby Finishing School offers rich pickings not only in in the blood of nubile young ladies but also with the headmaster who is desperate to become Mircalla's disciple, and the equally besotted and even more foolish author Richard Lestrange.

Having grown sick and tired of his centuries as Dracula's lackey, Renfield finds a new lease on life — and maybe even redemption — when he falls for feisty, perennially angry traffic cop Rebecca Quincy.

In the heart of Styria the Karnstein Family, even after their mortal deaths, rise from their tombs spreading evil in the countryside in their lust for fresh blood. Baron Hartog whose family are all victims of Karnstein vampirism, opens their graves and drives a stake through their diabolical hearts. One grave he cannot locate is that of the legendary beautiful Mircalla Karnstein. Years of peace follow that grisly night until Mircalla reappears to avenge her family's decimation and satisfy her desire for blood.

A duo of bisexual female vampires prey on passing motorists, whom they seduce and murder in the English countryside.

A teenager suspects his new neighbour is a vampire. Unable to convince anyone, he tries to enlist the help of a self-proclaimed vampire hunter and magician.

After killing her husband, Peggy Gravel and her murderous maid Grizelda wind up in the crazy town of Mortville, where Queen Carlotta presides over a sleazy collection of misfits.

Tony, a thirteen-year-old boy on vacation in rural Germany, is fascinated by the idea of vampires. Meanwhile Rudolph, a vampire of "similar" age (313!), encounters trouble when his clan is threatened by a dangerously obsessed hunter. Fate brings these two boys together, as Tony & Rudolph set off an action-packed battle to stop the villain, save Rudolph's family and learn the power of friendship.

When ordinary boy Davis suddenly becomes famous at school as people start to believe he's actually a vampire, vampire expert Cameron helps him act like a real vampire.

A HOA turns out to be more troublesome than usual in this wildly amusing, FX-heavy freak-out about newly minted suburbanites unexpectedly forced to take part in a struggle against monstrous forces.

Angela Arden is a washed up, has-been singing star who is trapped in a hateful marriage to film producer Sol Sussman. In an attempt to escape her marriage so that she can be with a hunky layabout, she poisons her husband. However, Angela's manipulative daughter, gay son and alcoholic maid are not going to make it easy for her.

The Cavalcade of Perversion, a traveling freak show, acts as a front for Divine, who is out for blood after discovering her lover's affair.

Geeky 14-year old Ethan is left to babysit his younger sister, Jane, with his best friend Benny but after Ethan inadvertently puts Jane in harm's way, his parents hire a professional babysitter, the beautiful yet mysterious 17-year-old Sarah who, unbeknownst to them, is actually a fledgling vampire.

Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she bites off more than she can chew and faces a new, immortal danger.
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