Carry On Matron

Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.

Virgil Starkwell is intent on becoming a notorious bank robber. Unfortunately for Virgil and his not-so-budding career, he is completely incompetent.

Set up by their boss to be knocked off following a final heist, soon-to-retire crooks Brian Hope and Charlie McManus get wind of their impending demise and run off with the spoils of their crime. Fleeing their boss, the drug dealers they robbed, the police, and Brian's angry girlfriend, the duo take refuge in a training convent for nuns. In disguise, they convince Sister Superior that they're nuns, a charade they're forced to maintain as their enemies arrive.

When an upwardly mobile couple find themselves unemployed and in debt, they turn to armed robbery in desperation.

After escaping from prison, Joe and Terry go on a crime spree, robbing banks through Oregon and California in order to finance their scheme for a new life south of the border. Unfortunately, things get more complicated when they meet Kate, who runs into them with her car. She joins the bandits on their cross-country spree, and eventually she steals something, too: their hearts.

An eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew pose as a band in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting landlord – a sharp old woman.

Two friends are drawn into a seedy underworld of extortion and violence when they try to blackmail a gang of bank robbers.

A rich brat fakes her own kidnapping, but in the process ends up locked in the trunk of a car that gets stolen.

An international heist crew, led by Cyrus Whitaker, race to lift $500 million in gold from a passenger plane at 40,000 feet.

An honest, goodhearted man is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his neurotic mother's skyrocketing medical bills.

A boy named Griffin finds a valuable multi-million dollar baseball card. After accidentally selling the card for a million dollar loss, he enlists the help of his best friend Ben and his colleagues to regain the baseball card.

Dale, Kurt and Nick decide to start their own business but things don't go as planned because of a slick investor, prompting the trio to pull off a harebrained and misguided kidnapping scheme.

Angelo "Snaps" Provolone made his dying father a promise on his deathbed: he would leave the world of crime and become an honest businessman. Despite having no experience in making money in a legal fashion, Snaps sets about to keep his promise.

Ben Healy and his social climbing wife Flo adopt fun-loving seven year old Junior. But they soon discover he's a little monster as he turns a camping trip, a birthday party and even a baseball game into comic nightmares.

Spiritualist Blanche Tyler and her cab-driving boyfriend encounter a pair of serial kidnappers while trailing a missing heir in California.

A cosmic case of flying saucers, intergalactic intrigue and out-of-this-world romance launches Scooby-Doo! and the Mystery Inc., Gang into their most unearthly adventure ever.

A courageous boy battles a gang of bumbling thieves to rescue a dog carrying a fortune in stolen diamonds.

Down-on-their-luck racers Larry and Deke steal from a supermarket manager to buy a car that will help them advance their racing chances. Their escape does not go as planned when Larry's one-night stand, Mary, tags along for the ride.

When plans with her boyfriend fall through, high school senior Chris Parker ends up babysitting the Anderson kids, Brad and Sara. What should be a quiet night in, however, turns into a series of ridiculous exploits, starting when they leave the house to pick up Chris' friend Brenda. Soon, Brad's buddy Daryl is involved, and the group must contend with car thieves, blues musicians and much more.

Three female employees of the Federal Reserve plot to steal money that is about to be destroyed.

Four runaway cons take shelter in a bungalow owned by an old blind couple.

A financial executive who can't stop his career downspiral is invited into his daughter's imaginary world, where solutions to his problems await.

Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition...

Comedian and actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater.

A down-on his-luck baseball pitcher finds a new set of rewards coaching a gang of underprivileged youngsters and romancing a career-oriented playground supervisor who, against her better judgment, put the kids in his charge.

To climb the corporate ladder to success, a businessman agrees to coach his company's all-girl soccer team with the help of his secret weapon: his fiancee's son.

As three generations of a family in a small Texas town gather for a funeral, we learn the hilarious, sad, trashy truth of their sordid lives.

In a remote fortress, a sinister sorority of surgically skilled sisters lie in wait of their next victim. They control a bevy of caged women who have been brain washed and sponge-batherto become the worlds most anatomically awesome surgeons. This is the git-wrenching story of one innocent girl, Sabrina, who finds herself trapped in a living nightmare. Captive to a slavery ring that is training an

Dr. Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.

A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.

Speedee Taxis is a great success, which means its workaholic owner Charlie starts neglecting Peggy, his wife. Suddenly a fleet of rival taxis appears from nowhere and start pinching all the fares. The rivals are Glamcabs, and they have a secret weapon. All their drivers are very attractive women! Who's behind Glamcabs? It's open warfare and only one fleet can survive!

Working incognito at his rich dad's company to test his own merits, Teto falls for Paula and tells her he grew up poor, a lie that spins out of control.

A gangster sets out to fulfill his father's dream of becoming a doctor.

Anne Byrne, recently widowed, lives with her useless adult son. She’s left juggling housework and the bog, until her witchy neighbour suggests building a Golem. When Anne develops feelings for it, her man-child son tries to destroy it.

At WC Boggs' Lavatory factory, Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat. However, eventually everyone gets fed up with him.

Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the story ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.

Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.

Isidor's Tortilla Heaven is the best restaurant in New Mexico maybe even the world. But though his tortillas are scrumptious, his enchiladas divine, Isidor has never made a dime. Why? He lives in Falfurrias, population 73. One Sunday, while all the town, including his wife and son, are piously praying mass, a miracle occurs. Upon one of his famous, hand-made tortillas appears the face of Jesus Christ.

In this sold-out performance, Canadian comic Russell Peters skewers racial stereotypes as he offers his audacious take on multiculturalism--including his Indian heritage and culture clashes around the world. Recorded live at Madison Square Garden's WAMU theater and broadcast on Showtime, this stand-up concert is not to be missed. Red, White and Brown is the second stand-up comedy album by Canadian comedian Russell Peters, recorded at the WAMU Theatre in Madison Square Garden on February 2, 2008.[3] The CD/DVD was released in Canada on September 30, 2008, and in the U.S. on January 27, 2009, debuting at #3 on the Canadian Albums Chart.[4] The hip hop theme music was produced by Marco Polo, and legendary MC Melle Mel introduced Peters to the stage.

When a driven HR exec loses her high-powered job, she travels to Puerto Rico in an attempt to save her career at a business conference. But as the trip quickly becomes a disaster and a hurricane shuts down the whole island, she meets a handsome world traveler who gives her a new perspective on finding passion in life and love.